Are Colon Cleansing Pills Safe to Take?

Remember when the FDA didn’t care what companies put in pills… but then they started to care a whole lot, and every malicious company was either shut down or sued? And this is why we have trust issues. Are colon cleanse pills safe to take? Absolutely, as long as you trust the company selling them you to. In this post you are going to learn…
  • What colon cleanse pills do
  • Why they are safe to take
  • Why toxins have nothing to do with colon cleansing
Capiche? Sweet. But before we begin…

What do colon cleanse pills do?

Here it’s important to understand the main types of colon cleansing. For brevity’s sake, I will summarize them into 3 categories:
  1. Water-based, which use water to flush out your colon.
  2. Diet-based, by eating types of foods (I’m including juicing).
  3. Ingredient-based (capsules packed with natural ingredients).
Colon cleanse pills fall into the 3rd category, ingredient-based, because that’s the only time you’ll be taking a pill. Generally, the ingredients within a colon cleanse pill are all-natural ingredients; while that’s true for our colon cleanse, it’s certainly not for all of them. When judging the safety of a colon cleanse pill, you always need to dive deeply into the ingredients in each capsule, hoping that the company selling them is transparent about their ingredients. When you ingest a capsule–usually a gelatin or vegetarian capsule–it gets broken down upon digestion, and the ingredients within the capsule are released and absorbed by your body.
Some colon cleanse pills use gelatin capsules.
Example of gelatin capsule.
Gelatin capsules, for example, dissolve within minutes upon entering the body, and are 100% safe to consume. Some capsules also feature secondary ingredients like Magnesium Stearate: all this does is help keep the ingredients from sticking to each other, and is also 100% safe to digest. As long as the colon cleanse pills are safe to use, you will be safe to consume them. Just follow the directions on the label to ensure you are following the daily recommended dosage (usually one per day).

But here’s the catch…

For some absurd reason, every time someone asks the internet about the safety of colon cleansing pills, an infamous word is brought up… Toxins. Oh, can’t this trend just die already? Back in ancient history, the Egyptians believed in a theory of “auto-intoxication“: the belief that the colon’s contents would, while decompose, intoxicate the body. This, we know now, is a farce. If our body poisoned itself every time we ate (or had to go poop), we’d all be dead yesterday. What’s more poisoning is the equating of colon cleansing and “toxin purging.” If you, for example, browse the reviews for our colon cleanse products, none of them mention toxins. I think it’s because they weren’t cleansing for that reason in the first place.

The verdict: natural pills are safe.

All that we ask is that you do your research. Don’t do something or add something to your body before seriously considering how safe it is for you. You have one body, so treat it like it’s a temple.

What’s the Most Gentle Colon Cleanse?

Nobody on this earth, in all sincerity, wants to do an enema. I repeat: nobody wants a shove water up his/her you-know-what. If you’re looking for a colon cleanse, I’ll bet on the house you fit in with this category. Luckily, colon cleanses come in all shapes a sizes, but most of them aren’t gentle. They’re usually pretty rough on your body.

My Gentle Cleanse: Bowel relief with a gentle touch.

If you’re new to colon cleansing, WELCOME! You may need to catch up, so here are plenty of useful sources for colon cleansing: How Your Colon Works The Best Colon Cleansing Methods How Colon Cleansing Helps the Skin Great. You’re still here, so I assume you’re an expert at colon cleansing :). My Gentle Cleanse, the product in the image below, is the product I’m going to be talking about. In fact, it’s probably the most gentle cleanse available, and it’s 100% natural. My Gentle Cleanse is an all-natural, gentle colon cleanse. Normally, colon cleanses work by inducing your body to release its contents–to “flush” your colon out in hyperspeed, kind of like when you eat Indian food and you know you can’t handle the spice. But My Gentle Cleanse works a bit differently: it works alongside your body to help it function better. Technically, it helps your body’s peristaltic actions perform more smoothly by feeding your body helpful, natural herbs. (If you need a reminder, peristalsis is the wave-like movements your bowels perform to push items toward the colon–kind of like doing the worm.)

The Ingredients in the Cleanse

These herbs I’m talking about are, of course, 100% natural. They wouldn’t be called herbs otherwise! Cascara Sagrada, a powerful herb that targets the peristaltic action of the colon. Senna Leaf, a leaf that helps in the gentle alleviation of occasional constipation. Fennel Seed, a seed with antioxidant capacities, which can help reduce bloating and flatulence. Dandelion, a widespread plant that helps contribute to digestive health. Aloe Vera, a famous [and miraculous] plant that helps as a soothing aid in occasional constipation. Because–as I’m sure you know by now–that your body craves natural ingredients. What happens when you feed it meat, potatoes, and Twinkies non-stop? Diarrhea, loss of energy, fatigue, poor skin, etc. We, you and I, know damn well that to treat our colon gently, we also need to drink plenty of water.
Doing a colon cleanse without enough water is like descending a waterslide without water: it will be a raw ass-burn.

You know how to treat your body gently:
  • Eat fruits and vegetables.
  • Drink plenty of water.
  • Exercise moderately.
But for a true colon cleanse, sometimes you need some extra help. Why not treat yourself to a gentle colon cleanse? Treat that body.

How to Steal Aloe Vera From Your Neighbor’s Lawn [Tutorial]

You might be thinking, “Woah, are you espousing theft?” to which I’ll reply, “Can you not use big words around me?” Today, we’re talking about Aloe Vera: and I think I need to explain what this thing is. Aloe Vera is a natural plant–and ingredient–you’ve probably had all over your body: you don’t know it, but it’s been lodged in many creams, sunscreens, and shampoos you’ve used. Don’t worry: This plant is awesome. Some have called it a global panacea (a “cure for everything”); some use it for healing burns and skin ailments; some use it as in moisturizing shampoos; and some, like us, use it in natural colon cleanses. But how do you get your hand on one?
Welcome to another episode of terrible tutorials that may or may not provide you any value whatsoever.

Tutorial #66: How to Steal Your Neighbor’s Aloe Vera

As is normal with any tutorial (at least our tutorials), we need to start with a definition. Clearly, we have to define “steal.” That’s the only obviously-ambiguous word we’re working with.





1. To take something that doesn’t belong to you without permission.
Example: “Mom, the bully stole my lunch money again.” -Every day of my childhood.

2. To borrow an item indefinitely, for personal pleasure (usu. bookended with lying quotations).
Example: “I may have to “steal” your aloe because I don’t want to buy any.” -Your excuse after reading this.

Since you have a better chance stealing aloe vera than you do stealing someone’s heart (let’s be realistically sad for a moment), the following steps are like chicken soup for the kleptomaniacs’s soul.

1. Recon: Find which neighbor has the green stuff growing in their lawn.

Privacy is important: We respect yours--unless you grow aloe vera. We’re wading into some questionable territory if I ask you to hop someone’s fence to get some aloe. It should be in plain, walkable sight. Let’s face it: exercise is too much work. Period. If you have to sweat, you might as well buy it on Amazon. Anyway, use binoculars. I suggest ones you could buy at Walmart (because supporting local businesses is too millennial).

2. Grab some scissors: like the ones you cut food with.

Use scissors to cut your aloe vera and create natural formulas. Just not these rusty scissors. Honestly, having aloe vera juice on your scissors is probably cleaner than using them to cut the processed stuff you buy at the store. Also, kitchen scissors are generally larger and more durable, which means you can harvest even more aloe from your neighbor’s plant. You can use something like pliers or band cutters, but let’s not get industrial here: it’s just casual petty theft.

3. Go in for the kill (and wear your running shoes just in case).

You’ve eyed the plant; you’ve ensured no cars were parked in the driveway. You’ve ordered pizza to the address just to see if someone is home. It’s time. While crouching (optional: while wearing a ski mask), position the scissors at the base of one of its stems. This is vital, because if you kill the plant, you can’t keep free-loading from this same plant for the next 10 years. Sprint away. You cannot experience the freedom of herbal theft by walking.

4. Use aloe in everything: you’re now a homeopath.

In order to be a bona fide homeopath, you need to wear a bandana. Create your own smelly deodorant with aloe. Craft your own shampoo with aloe. Knit a sweater with aloe. Now all you need to do is tell all your friends on Facebook how homemade-everything is the best, and people who still use store-bought deodorant are earth-destroyers.
Know someone who likes or grows aloe? Share this with ’em. *Disclaimer: Please don’t steal. This was satire.

Does Garcinia Cambogia Help with Colon Cleansing?

No. Absolutely not. Garcina Cambogia has nothing to do with colon cleanses. Saying the two work entwined is like a plumber selling you on repainting your house so your plumbing will work properly. He’s up-selling you, and he’s winning big time. I’ll demonstrate why they don’t work in a second. First, let’s look at some search results you may see on the web. We’ll hop on Google and search something like, “Garcinia Cambogia colon cleanse” Here’s what we get. Example of websites touting relation of garcinia to colon cleanse Do you notice anything funny or strange about the domains–the websites in the picture? I highlighted them in red so you could see. They all sell Garcinia Cambogia and/or colon cleanses. In fact, each of the websites is pushing both at the same time: they want you to accept a quasi-researched answer so you can buy; and there’s a good chance that if their writing is persuasive, they may get you to.

(Okay, to be fair, we actually sell both–but they’re in entirely different categories. I’m not even going to link to them because I feel bad now.)

What does Garcinia Cambogia do?

Garcinia Cambogia is well known as a “superfruit,” and is praised for its highly sought-after extract called Hydroxycitric Acid, or HCA–but it’s not in the colon cleanse business.
Garcinia Cambogia helps naturally suppress appetite.
It was brought to the public light after some television doctors and health zealots talked about its benefits. HCA, though, only comes up in conversation when referred to as a “weight loss supplement” per scientific verbiage. Its primary uses are to help suppress your appetite and [possibly] increase the release or availability of serotonin in the brain. While the bulk of these Garcinia test methods are performed on persons with high Body Mass Indexes (BMIs), the benefits of this superfruit are pretty well attested. Garcinia has been identified in the last few years as a “potential supplement for weight management and… antiobesity agent“–but that’s it. I mean it’s great if you’re looking for weight management, but it’s not going to cleanse your colon.

How else do you cleanse the colon?

There are several colon cleansing methods out there, but some are definitely gentler to your colon than others. Your intestines, both small and large, are addressed in a different way–a way that Garcinia can’t touch. A colon cleanse interacts with both the small and large intestine. When you are looking to cleanse the colon, you are tackling a few issues:
1. The “push” of your intestines (peristalsis). 2. The build-up on your intestinal walls. 3. The consistency (hardness/softness) of your stool. 4. The amount of liquid passed to soften the tool (and become chyme).
All of these reasons, and more, can be addressed by a healthy, herbal colon cleanse. You may have trouble with bowel movement infrequency and choose a gentle detox; or you may have hard or painful bowel movements and are looking for a gentle cleanse.